Learning How to Put Yourself First

When was the last time you put yourself first? We’re often focused on giving to others that we forget to give to ourselves. Women (and moms!) are particularly terrible at this. We’re so busy making sure that everyone else is happy that we neglect our own happiness – or worse, think that we don’t deserve it. Well, guess what: you DO deserve the same love and attention that you give so freely to others. Being the greatest and healthiest version of YOU is actually how you best attend to the people and commitments in your life. Not sure where to start? Here are eight highly-effective ways to start making yourself a priority:

1. Feed yourself good food. I’m a big believer in creating a solid foundation to anything, and a proper diet is paramount to creating the healthiest you. Eating good food is also a way of telling yourself that you’re worth nourishing.

2. Indulge in something that makes you happy. Treat yourself! This can mean many things to different people, but what’s key is finding something that you can do easily, regularly, and sustainably. It could mean anything from buying yourself a fancy coffee or a good book; getting a manicure; meeting a friend for a lunch date; or watching a show or movie.

3. Ask for help. Sometimes making yourself a priority requires outsourcing. Split the housework with your partner, secure a babysitter, or order in food (that’s outsourcing, right?). You don’t have to do it all, all the time. Give yourself a break and call in some help.

4. Get moving. I know that after a long day at work and an even longer night at home with the kids, the last thing on anyone’s mind is exercising. But I encourage everyone to find some way to be active: walk, run, play a sport, or join a gym class. It’s one of the best ways to focus on yourself. Plus, exercise releases endorphins, neurochemicals in the brain that bring about feelings of euphoria and well-being.

5. Practice saying “No”. Our automatic instinct is to say “yes” to any and all requests (another office project, school committee, potluck, get-together…), but it can create for an overwhelming calendar. Take control of your own decisions by not letting others dictate them for you. If saying “No” is too big of a leap right now, try “Let me get back to you”– it can give you a moment to thoroughly consider the request before answering.

6. Let go of any toxic thoughts, habits, and relationships. This is a BIG one – and definitely not an easy one! It’s taken me years of conscious effort to feel like I’ve finally made some kind of progress on reducing my own toxic thought/habit/relationship load. Once you let go of those things that are holding you back and causing you more stress than joy, it opens up your life to only those things that truly benefit you.

7. Nourish your mind – and soul. This can come in many different forms: reading a good book, listening to music, taking a screen (phone, computer, TV) break, trusting your instincts, self-reflection, and meditation. By bringing more awareness within, we can better understand our needs and then make those a priority.

8. Remind yourself daily: YOU. ARE. WORTH. IT. Shout it to the rooftops and whisper it to your soul. You are NOT selfish for wanting to feel healthier, more grounded, and happy. In fact, you absolutely need it, are capable of it, and deserve it. You are worth it.